8 months later....

8 months ago I made a choice.

I made myself a priority. I put my health, my happiness, my self esteem and my well being into prospective. I started making different and new types of sacrifices, I got educated, got focused, got involved with activities that helped motivate me. I let go of unhealthy friendships and relationships and in the process have met some amazing new friends and connections.

I still have a way to go to reach some personal goals but after 8 months...



I am HAPPY. I am HEALTHY. I am FREE.

1st time I have EVER felt good in a dress in almost 6 years!

My amazing Husband, so supportive and inspiring with his own journey to living healthy.(42lbs down)

This is what HLC is all about.

I was in a friends wedding this weekend and during the whole process of helping her plan and make this wedding happen I noticed a lot of differences in the old me verses the new me. The old me would never have agreed to wear a dress like these. I would have requested being covered head to toe and in something not flesh colored. The shoes were also foreign to me with towering heels, bright glitter and a lot of sex appeal. (pain, oh they were painful to wear). The old me would have cried over how insecure I felt and would have been miserable the entire day. Not happy, smiling and feeling amazing in front of a church full of people. The old me would have headed for the wine and cake at the reception and sat in the far corner of the room with a plate full of food; not skip them both and just enjoy being with friends. Oh the old me would have been miserable and left early and felt guilty days later.

Little changes, results from little choices have truly made me who I am today and I am so amazed that I have let 8 months go by and I'm still sticking with this! I'm happy. I'm truly happy and I'm learning that the old me was focused and dwelt on the wrong priorities and used every excuse to not look at herself in the mirror and face the music on how bad she was treating herself.

It's not about the weight, in fact, the less I dwell on it, the easier it is to lose (14lbs down). The less I worry about all the non important keys of losing weight and gaining confidence the more happy I am in my own skin. The more confidence I have and the more I realize how truly blessed I am.

Have you ever had an "aha!" moment about yourself?

Body Image Tuesday

I haven't done one of these posts in awhile, yikes. Quite awhile.

I love how honest I can be here, like my little domain of truth and honesty that I block off my negative thoughts and excuses from that I find myself bickering with internally everyday. You all know what I am talking about, don't deny it.

So true story......

I've gained 13lbs. Oh yeah, out of nowhere I'd say but at the same time...I've slacked off big time with my normal regime of eating better, sleeping more and not drinking soda. Add in I'm on 2 new medications and there you have it. 13lbs.

I will also say  that despite this little news shocker, I'm totally OKAY with it. I'm not crying about it, feeling guilty or down. I feel great about how I look and yes, I can tell in some of my newer clothes that I need to get back to my healthier eating and living habits but it's just a different stand point than I used to do when I gained a bit of weight or suddenly couldn't seem to lose weight.

I have accepted who I am and what my body looks like and no longer having the stress of those unrealistic thoughts and weight goals has been such a sweet relief and an amazing turn around for me!!

Don't get me wrong though, it's spring. My butt will be in the gym more and running more with the warmer temps, not too mention....swimsuit season? Hello!

At Cracker Barrel, my one weakness for food.

It's safe to say that for me, Healthy living has become a bit different than I once thought and scoffed about it being. 8 months of little changes have had a HUGE impact on my self image, my food knowledge and even friendships. It's not about the number on the scale, what you eat or don't eat, how often or not often you work out....it's just about making the attempt, finding what works for you and trying new things before quitting and NEVER losing focus on your goals.

What works for you?

Britt The HLC

What does being healthy mean?

So it's official. I am CLEARED to run again!

I was so excited when I was told this that when we got home I told Evan he had to go on a run with me before we picked Avery up from MDO. Not to mention it was yet again, another 80* day in Texas with just a bit too much wind but man....it was too good to pass up on.

My foot is a bit tense still and I didn't push myself too hard, just being outside and moving was almost euphoric. Wait, did I just say euphoric about running? Seriously? *Shrug* Guess I am turning into a runner after all. I can't wait to hit the gym tomorrow, it's going to be hard but I'm prepared for the burn. I also know I can not get ahead of myself and that I must take it easy, one of my biggest things I do not manage well is following directions when it comes to health stuff. I get it into my head that  I know myself better than a medical professional and before I know it I've re-injured myself which is no mi Gusta.

Before my foot appointment we also had our follow up appointment with the OB. No, we are not pregnant yet and we are still going to try but we're also not going to stress about it. I'm on a prenatal to fit my needs now and will be taking a baby asprin a day to help prepare myself for potential blood issues. All my lab work came back good which is both good and bad news I guess. Considering how messed up both sides of my gene pool are, I've lucked out with only having one gene mutation. This mutation however, is very common, like 50% common with most people and can be treated with more folic acid, b12 and an all together healthy living lifestyle.

I'm also still a high probability for stroke, heart attack and blot clots due to my family history and this gene mutation signified that as well. I'll take it over some of the other variable mutations out there. Whats important is that I am healthy and able to conceive a baby. Does this mean I'll not have another miscarriage, no, it's not up to me or a doctor but it's up to God and I have to continue to give it up to him. Does it mean I won't try again, no. We still want another baby. We're going to be patient about this and if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. There's no medical reason why I shouldn't be able to get pregnant again.


I'm glad I decided to do the lab work and find out where I am with my health. I think it's something all woman should take into consideration, regardless if your trying to get pregnant or if babies are not even on the radar. It's good to be informed of your genetics and your health.

Evan and I have come a long way in our health if you ask me. I can look at pictures of us when we were dating to after we got married to now and you can visibly see how we've changed. It's seriously a journey and it's one you have to make for yourself. Nobody else has to live with YOUR health. For me being healthy meant having a baby. It meant letting go of foods I thought I needed, saying good by to sugary drinks and making myself get more sleep. It meant making better choices and decisions for myself, my husband and my potential family. I took it one day at a time and one choice at a time...

Here's us at our heaviest:

And 4 months later...

You can see the difference. This was also right before we got pregnant with Avery

3 months pregnant and I was still looking thin!

2008

Last week.

(Yes, I'm a dork.)

It's like I said before...a balance.

Eating right, excercising, sleeping, drinking water, taking vitmains, being active and staying positive.

I'm curious though, what does being healthy mean to YOU?

**EDIT** Last night my foot went back to hurting, today, I can't put any pressure on it whatsoever. I am miserable. Bought a brace and have been propped up with ice and heat per doctors orders. This is possibly the worst injury to date and the Dr. now wants me to come in for more x-rays. :(

-Britt The HLC

Dear Self....

I was recently on a cleaning spree with Evan when I came across a box of letters and photos from high school. I sat for awhile laughing at some of the letters to friends I wrote, magazine clippings of Jake Gylenhal, Josh Hartnett and my geek crush Josh Groban when I found a CD with my senior pictures on it....

            

90's perm                                                 Age 10                                                    Just smile.

To be honest, looking at my younger pictures is hard for me. I hardly had friends and in the majority of them I have 1 of 2 looks, one where I have this huge false smile on my face and the other where I look sad or upset with having a camera in my face. My how that seems like a lifetime ago.....

Just before I started my Senior year, I had a breast reduction surgery that truly was what I wanted. Besides the fact that I needed to lose weight and I had medical issues due to the weight I was. I  wanted to fit in, I wanted to feel pretty and accepted, I wanted to be healthy and stay in school without constantly being sent home due to my medical issues.

To sum up a sad and pointless story....I had my Senior pictures re-done in Feb of my senior year and the pictures were Amazing. I was smiling in them, I was posing and not hiding myself, I even had my best friend be in a few with me. I look so relaxed and just comfortable and I didn't cry about them to my mom. I remember printing so many of them out and handing them out to people I knew and even Evan, who was a sweet friend of mine with no romantic feelings yet surfaced. I think that stage of my youth I felt good in my skin for the first time and started to make my way into the world with my head high and yet...I still felt overweight, I felt "Fat".

So there I was, sitting in my fave pj's, no make-up on, hair in a messy bun laughing at these pictures with my husband and proclaiming "GOD, look how thin I am!! Look at my skin! I want to be this thin again..." and internally scoffing at my younger self for being so silly and for thinking I wasn't beautiful or worth much. It doesn't take much to feel good about yourself....believe me. It's a process, a journey you hate at first and then even more when you realize...YOUR PERFECT AS YOU ARE!

I know we all do this to ourselves on bad days, I know people struggle with it. Lord knows I did a lot growing up pretty much until I turned 18 and started dating Evan. But once I realized I was beautiful for a multitude of reasons and a lot of them being on the inside....I let my true self show and that's attractive. I also think Evan saved me from myself....he saved me from a dangerous place in my life and he did it by starting off as my friend and by telling me flat out the choices I was making in my life were making me ugly. He wasn't the only one back then who had said as much to me but he was the one whose voice caught my attention. How I love him for that hard conversation. (long back story for that to make sense, sorry)

Still though, when you feel good about yourself it shows in so many GOOD ways and when you love someone who allows you to be yourself and brings the best of you out....you just get more attractive when you embrace who you are.

So to my Self (Past, Present & future):

-ALWAYS REMEMBER-

You are Beautiful. You may not feel it everyday, you may not act it on occasion but trust me. You are perfect the way you are. You are a woman capable of obtaining any goal you set before yourself. You are an amazing wife to a man who adores you for everything you are and a mom to one outstanding little girl who also brings out the best of you. BE PATIENT with her and remember to remind her always that she is beautiful by being unique in her individuality. Remember that diets only make you cranky, water is your friend and the gym makes you feel like a rock star so don't be so afraid of it. Running in the early morning suits you best because you get to clear your head and get a good quiet time in too. The scale lies, it always has and you realized this at 22 so don't bother going by it, in fact keep on not allowing them in your home all together. Your a strong christian who has a brilliant smile and contagious laugh to go with your awesome sense of humor. You choose to be positive rather than negative about things and your friends find you to be loyal and always there when they need you. You love musicals and British movies, your a history geek and a foodie at heart (you caught the microwave on fire, who does that?!) and you still believe you will be able to convince your husband to eat and love tofu. You are creative and crafty when you don't talk yourself out of doing something along those lines, you also tend to second guess yourself entirely too much. You are doing good for yourself by realizing your worth it and so is your family. Keep it up!!!

How Rude!! (Rant)

Recently I was chatting with a friend through messenger whom I haven't talked to in a LONG time. We'll call her "Rude Friend" or RF for short. After a pleasant 15 minutes of catching up with one another RF made a comment about how good I looked these days. "You know Britt, you look better now than you did in high school and most women after they have kids really let themselves go which has been a fear of mine."
okay.....I should mention that RF is currently pregnant with her first child,
So I laughed her comment off and thanked her. She asked me how much I had lost since having Avery and I was honest in telling her that I lost close to 42lbs but I gained back 30 of it and am trying to get to a healthy average for my body type.

RF:"Oh, wow. That's awesome. Wait, don't you have a "Healthy Living" blog or something I saw on FB?"
Me: "Yes, I have 2 blogs I maintain for fun."
RF: "Don't you think it's wrong to promote a lifestyle you're not doing good at?'
Me: "What do you mean by that?"
RF: "I just mean, and don't take this wrong but I mean like, you're still overweight...how can you blog about living healthy when you obviously are not doing anything to change your weight and stuff...like, I guess I haven't seen you really doing anything other than a few pictures of you in workout stuff and I know you told _____ about doing a 5k soon"
Me: "That's a little rude, we haven't seen each other in almost 3 years since you guys moved away and you just got done saying how much better I look now than in high school? Have you read my blog at all?"
RF: "No, I just saw your FB page about it..sorry..I mean I guess I just don't understand why you'd put yourself out there like that when you don't look.....I dunno how to word it without it sounding horrible...you get what I mean though, right?"
Me: "No, not really."

At this point I was kinda disgusted with the entire conversation and used Avery as an excuse to leave the chat. Am I wrong or was she way out of line?!

*Hops on soapbox*
Look folks, I know I am no skinny minnie and guess what, I'm NEVER going to be one. Don't have a desire to be either since my entire life I've always been a little bigger than most girls. I have hips, I have boobs, God gave them to me because he knew I could handle it. Granted, I got rid of some of the boobs thanks to surgery but I still have more than most. It took me sadly, years to figure out I was perfectly fine the way I looked. I embrace my body as MINE and so what if I have a pouch or stretch marks from having a child or I don't look like a VS runway model. My husband loves me as I am, my daughter looks up to me looking the way I do and I feel good in this body! I let way too many people put me down in my teen years for not being or looking like a certain type. I was bullied for years and it robbed me of some good oppourtunities in life and if my blog can help someone out there see that it's okay to be who they are as long as they feel good just by making healthy living choices everyday then I've succeeded in my goal for this blog.
-End Rant

I've never claimed this blog was an entire thing on losing weight, it's part of my Healthy Living journey/transition sure, but is it my main focus and what this blog is for? Not even close. If you read my blog (the few awesome people you are) then you'll recall one of my earliest entries was how I am not Promoting losing weight or diet fades....not going to find it here...

Healthy Living Chick represents 3 key things....
Living Healthy- Exercises, eating healthy, making healthy choices daily, switching one bad habit with a healthy alternative, cooking smarter, educating yourself etc.
Living Life- I'm a wife and a mommy, I'm balancing those two jobs with a little me time mixed in with a part time job...I'm busy!
Living Free- Accepting and acknowledging who you are and being happy with that! God made us individuals for a darn good reason and thanks to societys sick standards girls and woman (men too) these days feel the need to be in a certain stereo type or body type to feel desired or accepted and it's just not right. Embrace your curves, love your flaws and remember that you can be healthy and happy without being miserable or unhappy.

 Whatever happened to the Disney rule of thumb? "If you can't say nothing nice, don't say anything at all?"

-HLC

Body Image Tuesday

I'll admit, I wimped out of taking self portraits today to show myself as I am now, week one in my weight loss journey. I guess the mirror just got to me a bit too much this afternoon and before I started crying I simply put the camera down and promised myself I'd do it next week.

I will, too!

It's not so much that I look horribly overweight, I hide it well. In fact, most people wouldn't believe I weight close to 180, maybe it's the boobs? Needless to say though that since having A, I am not keeping the extra weight in the same areas and it's noticeable enough to get my attention as well as E's. I will also be the first to admit I am not a diet person or am I an avid exerciser or health nut.

Which will change over time. I mean, it's been a week and I have made several changes to my diet and I am now exercising daily.

Start weight: 179lbs-8/29/11
Goal Weight: 155lbs-1/1/12
Today's Weight: 177lbs-9/6/11

2 whole pounds in a week!!! Yes, it may seem small but it's still a victory for me. I'm aware I'll have bad weeks and setbacks but the fact that I am actually pursuing this lifestyle now and it's already showing just helps keep me motivated to stick with it.

I also like going to the gym with my family. Working out with E today was a first and yet, it wasn't uncomfortable or frustrating. We did our own thing, helped each other with some machines and made a mini-race on the treadmill in which I didn't win but the trainer said I had better form and stamina.

Here was my workout today (I doubt I'll be able to walk tomorrow):
3 miles on treadmill
5.69 miles on recumbent cycle (my fave machine)
2 sets of 20 on weight bench for shoulders and arms at 40lbs.
1 set of 20 on hamstrings at 50lbs.
2 sets of 20 squats


It's not so much about how much I lose and how fast I lose it, or is it about how much I can do at the gym...for me it's about liking what I see about myself physically which as of last week is not a lot. I do not have much self-confidence in my appearance and it's what makes up 1/3 of who I am so it's important to me to be accepting of this. Like my motto...."If you can't love yourself, who can you love?"

I love a lot of things about myself, but when it comes to how I look in the mirror....I'm lacking the love. Which is why I started Healthy Living Chick.

I'll end this Body image Tuesday with 5 things I love about myself(physically), be sure to share with me your 5 self loves as well.

1. I love my blue eyes, they are my best physical feature (in my opinion).
2. I love my scar on my forehead, yes it looks like a huge dot between my eyes but it adds personailty!
3. I love my calves, I'm only 5'5 which doesn't give me much in the leg department but my calf muscles have always looked good and helped my legs look tone.
4. I love my boobs. After years of hating them for being bigger than I personally wanted and being picked on because of them, I always tried to cover them up. I even had a breast reduction to help but it wasn't until I was pregnant with A that I accepted my womans body and fell in love with my bra size for once. :)
5. I love my spotty freckles. Yes, I still have some childhood freckles over the high part of my cheeks where the corners of my eyes meet, I have always loved them.