I know I said earlier how I would keep Evan and I's TTC stuff mainly in the Family Blog but tonight I just feel that it's more fitting on the HLC.
Many of you lovolies know Evan and I have been going for baby #2 for a few months now. We're in no rush by any means and we're okay if it doesn't happen as easily as it did with our other two pregnancies. I have my fears, Evan has his. I have my stress days of thinking this whole process is just for the birds while Evan has no complaints on the whole process so to speak. :)
2 weeks ago I went in for my annual "HOORAY I'M FEMALE" visit as I like to call it. It was with a new OB/GYN since we can't go to our amazing Dr. Emmet since we moved. I went to this person based on how many of my friends suggested her and how much they like her and I found out why. Dr. Dooley was super sweet and we had a nice talk before I had to strip down to that oh so trendy paper sack they call a gown. I had my exam which had a few jokes told and laughter in the room (I can't stand the quiet during those type of routine exams and usually make jokes to make it more relaxed, she was all for it) and then after I dressed we went back to more serious conversation.
I have had two miscarriages before having Avery and I never opted to have them tested or anything to see why they happened. The first one I had, I didn't even know I was pregnant until I was having the miscarriage (around 6wks). I was also young and not with Evan and in a dumb phase of life as I refer to it. With our first pregnancy, we had no issues whatsoever and it was during my second sonogram that they told us there was no heartbeat (10wks3days) I pretty much went into this numb daze and remember going home and waiting for Evan to come in the bedroom before losing it, not because I lost the baby, I was in complete denial throughout that horrible 5 days of letting nature take it's course, but because I felt that I had failed him. Not just Evan, my whole family, my friends. I refused to accept that we had lost the baby and opted out of a DNC. To this day I regret that decision due to what it put Evan and I through.
Dr. Dooley went over my medical history, my pregnancy issues with Avery and the notes on our first pregnancy and sent me to get a very thorough and detailed lab diagnostic done on me as well as a sonogram to make sure nothing was amiss. It was a 4 hour process. I gave 11 vials of blood and had the not so friendly sonogram done and have been patiently waiting for our follow up appointment on the 23rd in which she asked that Evan be at as she will go over the results. She pretty much told me there won't be anything she wont know about my body when the results come in. Even with that being done I was in the process of ovulating and she said to "Go for it now". So we will also be tested to see if this is our month to get a Positive test. If we are not PG, we will put it on hold until May.
So many things have changed for us since we had Avery. It's been 3 years of positive changes BECAUSE of her. The way we slept, ate, drove, and lived did a crazy 180 because we suddenly had this amazing baby girl and we wanted her to have the best and that included her way of viewing the world. After all the complications we had during her pregnancy and the hours I spent on bed rest. it made me seriously figure things out for myself on the type of changes I needed to make.
I eat healthier now, I sleep when I can, I drink more water, I work out and run a lot, I'm very active.
Which is where I think some of my nerves in getting pregnant come from. The risk of miscarrying is of course there, the medical issues that will surely happen again are as well but more so in my head is the thoughts that becoming pregnant will mean no more gym, no more running and eating nonstop. I know I can do classes and light training but overall, this healthy lifestyle I have adapted to is about to change a lot!
Dumb of me to fret over, I'm sure.
With that said and swirling in my head, I also can't help but get giddy at the thought of looking like this again.